sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
