i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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