Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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