I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The chlamydia really affected his face.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.