your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on