omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.