epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
