Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you traded sex for a burrito?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
