Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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