I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
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I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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