remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
A+ Viking dick
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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