You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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