Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just invented taco cereal.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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