I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
