New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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