He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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