I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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