either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
