So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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