I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think I just sharted jello shots
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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