You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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