I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
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ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
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You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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