I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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