3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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