Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
