well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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