I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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