Screwed.edu
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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