I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
