I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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