I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
