I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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