the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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