Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
