Christians are straight up FREAKS
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
