just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
