I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
