This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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