Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
