I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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