youre lurking in front of me
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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