I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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