I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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