i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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