So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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