I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
