We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
