just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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