Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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