Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize