am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
