I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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