I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
