he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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