Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
