what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
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You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
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Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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