Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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