Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
