I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
