she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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