can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
